Chapter 22

Donovan

“Hey…you awake?” A familiar voice bounced in my head. The question was harmless enough to steadily open my eyes to recognize the ceiling of my own room, but a shrouded face came into my vision. It was Sam, and she wore a gloomy expression with no signs of changing it. It’s really odd how she can seamlessly calm me down with just her gaze, but something feels off. Mr. Plague sent us both back into my apartment and I can’t seem to shake the feeling I’m about to be hit with even more bad news judging by how she’s looking at me. Will this nightmare ever end? Can she help me? Will she help me? At this point, calling it quits doesn’t seem all that bad of an idea.

“I’d thought you’d never wake up.” She said.

I lean up, too fast actually, and rubbed my right temple to mitigate the headache. “Yeah…I kind of preferred not to at this point…”

“Don’t joke like that.” Her voice was stern, and her face matched it. She’s really serious now. It’s a side of her I’ve never seen before. I knew something was up, but now I’m worried about finding out. The sarcastic early twenties punk-rock girl’s demeanor just hit a 180 on me. I needed to ask what happened when I was out.

“Sam…what happened?” I asked. “This is a side of you I’ve never seen before. Where’s that passive aggressive slick talk of yours?”

The stare she was giving me earlier became fixated on her lap as her head tilted down. “I…I-I don’t know how to say this…”

“Just say it. I can handle it.” It was false sense of bravado to get her spill it out, but not ideal seeing as though I’m practically a walking emotional and mental wreck right now. In no way did I see the words ‘Sebastian is dead’ coming out of her mouth. Her face had contorted to hysteria and no…I couldn’t possibly fucking handle it. Everything your body could do in reaction to horrible news hit me all at once. Stomach was churning, head began to spin, throat clamped up, and my eyes began to irritate. I haven’t felt this way in years. The one person that seemed to trap me in this perpetual cycle of nightmares really managed to trigger this big of an emotional reaction out of me. Why do I feel this way? Was it the fact that he was the only person I could lead me through this maze of constant danger, or did I actually began to develop respect towards him? I don’t know anymore…I can’t…feel anything. Heartbreak…heartbreak lingers in my psyche. I want to ask so many questions as to how it happened, but deep down I already know who was responsible. It only confirmed my conviction to stop him, but for now…I mourn…I can only mourn for Sebastian.

“I’m sorry Donovan, I-…I tried to get there in time, I really did-.” Without letting her finish, I slowly raise from my bed. I couldn’t simply look at her right now. My thoughts were clouded and muffled with intense turmoil.

“Don’t…” I said while fixated on my bedroom door. “There’s nothing more you can say right now…” I dragged myself out of the room, and I could hear her staggered footsteps behind me. She clearly couldn’t leave me alone after all that happened. It’s a smart move, and a compassionate one at that. I’m not quite use to it honestly. Most of my life I’ve been the emotional anchor for many people, but none have gone out of their way to ask how I’m fucking doing. I’ve even become more distance from my own family. Even my love life has become a desolate land of missed opportunities and indifference. Everything isn’t going the way I hoped anymore…no, that’s a lie. That statement could run true for someone who had a sense of carving out their future, but not me. I’ve always just been…drifting…no purpose…no rhyme or reason…just a man plagued with too much apathy.

“Donovan, stop” She demanded. Her words aren’t really hitting me though. Everything is muted to me right now. I can’t seem to focus anymore, nor could I get a grip on reality anymore. My own apartment looks foreign to me right now, and her muffled voice isn’t helping me either. “Donovan stop!!”

A tight hold grabs my arm. The firmness of it clearly shows a high level of severity. She yells “Stop it!”

“Stop what…?” I replied scornfully. “What exactly am I supposed to do? Every step I take backfires on me! Sebastian is dead! How am I supposed to cope with that?! Just what the fuck do I tell everybody at the office!? No matter how much good I do for people, it’s never enough. I’ve tried to do so much, I-…I just don’t know anymore…I don’t know how to handle anything anymore. What am I supposed to do Sam? What can I do now-.”

Before I could continue on with my rant, she grips me with both arms. I didn’t know this was it. I didn’t know the one thing that could break me down into tears and riddle me into a helpless man was a compassionate hug. I thought I was too good for this, but I was proven wrong again. I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. I gripped her back and rested my head on her shoulders, and everything I held back for years and years came pouring out.

“Donavan…I wanted you to stop blaming yourself. I can already tell out of everything that happened, you were blaming yourself for it. That’s his game. He wants to tear you apart from the inside out. Sebastian didn’t die from bad luck or being in the wrong place at the wrong time, he died because he found meaning in his own life. There wouldn’t be any other way for him to leave this world. Mr. Plague knew he couldn’t have him under his control if he continued on with his mindset.

Her words somehow rang true while also providing a slight sense of comfort. He did act different before he was killed. Seamlessly showing a sense of acceptance of a fate he wasn’t quite sure of yet. I wish I were that strong.

“Will we make it Sam…?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Will we make it out of this nightmare?”

“We will. I won’t let either of us go out without putting a stop to that monster. I know just enough people to help us get rid of him.”

“Why did he let you out? I’m-…I’m just curious as to what his motives are.”

“I honestly don’t know.” I can tell asking her that questions isn’t helping put her mind at ease. “Every move he makes can’t be predicted or comprehended. All I know is that we’re going to get out of this…I’ll have to contact him though...”

“Who…?” I asked.

“Nothing, it’s nothing. Hey… do you want coffee?”

“Coffee…now…?”

“Yeah, I could use a kick right now.”

I looked at the clock hanging in my living room. Even in the darkness I could still tell it was well beyond midnight, but I leaned back and shook my head in approval and showed her were to make the coffee. Saying no to her generosity seemed criminal as I watched her fumble about in the kitchen. I thought of where she could go or who she knew to go back to, but remembered that she had been behind that mirror for an absurd amount of time. Who knows if any of the family she grew up with is still around till this day. I can’t possibly imagine to be stuck like that for so long. If she needs a roof over her head, I’ll at least provide that for her. It’s strange really, but I’ve never showed that side of affection towards anyone before. Although, someone is in my home taking the time to show me a bit of care, and to be honest, I think that’s all I ever really needed. That’s all we ever really needed.